Commitment-Phobe

I just realized I am allergic to any sort of commitment, this may have been my problem with The Boy(who isnt really a boy he's a man and almost 30 now), but that is a story for another day. This week I recieved two calls about jobs, one for a temp agency, the other for an IT company. For the temp agency I had to take their tests, which somehow I'm sure I failed, I don't test well. For the IT company I had to do an interview with the recruiter and interview with someone who worked there and I will eventually have to do a face to face with someone at the company. I talked to the guy this morning, he seemed very nice, but when he started talking about how he had been with the company for three years I was having a mini panic attack. While I'm not the type of person who jumps from job to job every four months, I also have trouble making major decisions and sticking to them. I almost feel like if I choose one path, then all others are closed to me, yes I am crazy. In college I was always jealous of those freshman who KNEW they wanted to go to medical school and did everything to get there. I was never that sure of anything. When I was a kid I wanted to be an astronaut(I still like the idea of traveling to the stars), a photographer, an actress, or a ballerina. In college I had no idea what I wanted, I picked English as a major because it was something I was good at, and I didn't want to fail out of college by trying to be something I'm not(like an engineer). Right now I'm so lost it's not even funny. Quite honestly I thought my life would be a little more interesting than it is now, definately more interesting than the people who follow the boyfriend/husband, baby, boring job route. I have never even been to another country. By 24 I wanted to have been to Rome and Venice, it feels like every year drags me closer to the practicality of REAL job land and BILLS to pay. I don't feel 24, I feel like I'm 12 and everything is still a possibilty. I still want to study psychology, be a writer, be an actress. In reality it's like time is running out for the things I want.