Of Werewolves and Grandmothers

So obviously I saw Red Riding Hood, last night. Its a shame it got such bad reviews, because honestly it wasn't bad at all, and nothing like Twilight. People just wanted to say that because Hardwicke was the director. Without giving too much away, it was more about secrets and how they hurt people, growing up, making choices for yourself etc. And of course as Hardwicke points out herself, Red Riding Hood was rather pervy a "wolf" dresses up in grannies clothes, then asks a young girl to get into bed and talks about how much he wants to eat her.......um yeah. Before fairy tales got all Disney-fied they were pretty hard core, I have a book that has all the original fairy tales, the original Snow White had Snow becoming the Queen and ordering the guards to put her evil stepmother in red hot iron shoes and dance in them, can you say gruesome. There was a movie version of Snow White, that had Sigourney Weaver as the wicked stepmother that was just awesome.
On another note.....I have gotten nine replies on my new dating website, and I'm not particularly inclined to respond, I'm just not interested in the guys that are responding to me and its hard enough to have an email conversation with someone you ARE interested in and never met. So trying to force something seems.......ill advised. I don't know. Also, even though I am generally a practical person, I can not seem to get over how "unromantic" it is to try to meet someone online.

Oops I Did It Again

I apologize for the Britney Spears reference :)
Somehow I talked myself into going back onto a dating website. Actually I know how, I started a new job and it took a few months but now people are asking about whether or not I have a boyfriend, so that got me thinking again. At least it is Spring(almost) so I am more willing to go out and meet people face to face. The whole talking via email is just so.....awkward especially when its someone you have never had a face to face conversation with. You miss all the social cues and changes of topic aren't as natural. As usual I have no idea what I am doing. Not to mention the older I get the more stressful it is becoming to live with my parents. Unfortunately moving out is not really and option, between school loans and needing to fix my car my money is disappearing as fast as I can make it. Well we'll see how the website thingy goes this time around, but I am still very wary.

Am I Like Completely Hideous or Something?

I really want to know, because I have been on this dating sight that you had to pay for if you wanted complete access. Well even though I hadn't paid for, I still got alerts when someone emailed me(because they want you to pay to read them of course) So the one day , I get not one but two emails from guys on my "yes" list. So I finally decide to pay and find out what they emailed. Well Guy#1 made some random comment and asked why I didn't have pictures up. I responded that I had just put pictures up, I just had to wait for the site to approve them. Guy#2 Made a comment about a show I said I watched in my profile and I asked him what he likes to watch, and he answered and also asked why I had no pictures. Again I told him I had just put the pictures up and they were pending approval. Yeah its been two days since my pictures were approved....and nothing from either of them. So they were perfectly willing to talk to me with no pictures, and now with pictures all I get is silence. OK then. Now though I get guys who are either waaaaay to young, like 18 or waaaaaay to old, like 38. I guess I will leave up my profile for the month that I paid for and then cancel, because I am officially giving up....I'm done....Finito. I am obviously completely unappealing to any kind of guys that I would be interested in. All I get are guys with 20 kids and 20 different baby moms, guys with no job, car, who live with there Mamas because Mama takes care of them, guys who are on drugs, or even deal drugs. I give up....I guess I will have to just settle when I'm ready.

Lesson Learned

If you look at certain things as a "learning experience" then they don't seem like such a waste of time and energy. Here is what I have learned in the past few months:

• When it comes to children I have an almost limitless amount of patience; when it comes to adults who behave in a willfully stupid manner or who treat others poorly just because they can I have a 90 second window, at that point I have no idea what will come out of my mouth but it won't be nice.
• If you let them there are some people who will push you around, and standing up for yourself will come at a price, so pick your battles
• Conversely there are nice, generous and genuine people all around.

• I hate dishonesty and hypocrisy, and people who are constantly trying to get away with something, I believe in honesty and owning up to your actions and correcting them if need be. I seem to be in the minority on this.

Like I said lesson learned, now I know what I can and can not tolerate.

Boo...Hiss

So I am supposed to be heading out in a little bit for New Years Eve and as usual I am having second thoughts about going anywhere. And this is the reason: Whenever I ask someone where they met the person they are with I get a variety of answers "theme park, bar, museum, school, work" and so on. I have never met anyone I was interested in at any of the above listed places. I used to think it was my fault for not going out enough and not putting myself out there, but lately I have been going out a lot, and have met a few people. However, it seems like when I look around everyone is coupled up already. I guess I shouldn't be so negative and try harder to be more open? Who knows. I'm still contemplating "officially" signing up for and online dating site. I'm not sure. Its hard for me to think of myself in terms of a guy being interested in me, and usually the guys that are I am not attracted to and then I feel bad about that. Yeah...I need therapy. I was watching the movie "easy A", and in the movie the main characters parents were joking about grounding her and they said, "no boys" and she just laughed it off and said "well I think my complete lack of appeal sort of shot that horse in the face" that's kind of how I feel about my self, I don't see how I am appealing to the opposite sex. I reiterate the therapy point.

On to my goals for 2011( because I actually did stick to last years)

Continue to eat healthy and get in shape.
Be more honest about what I want and stop trying to please other people
SAVE MONEY
Get my butt back to school

I'm Starting to Think

....that I am never going to be able to get my life together. I work at a job that has nothing to do with what I ultimately want to do with my career and also causes me no end of stress. I still live with my parents who treat me like I am 15 instead of 25. And I still can't find a guy who is interested in me. Don't get me wrong I am grateful I have a job and am not unemployed, and that I have a family that cares and friends that are there for me, but sometime I just want to feel like I am doing something right with my life, not just existing.

Merry Christmas

I love Christmas....love it, love it, love it. I like the lights, the decorations, the music. Sure some people will say its a materialistic, commercial holiday but I think its what you make of it. I actually like buying gifts for people, thoughtful awesome gifts. Its nice getting gifts too, but I don't care about that so much anymore. I just bought my first ornaments this year, hopefully I will have my own tree to put them on next year(right now they are on my moms tree). I can't wait until I have my own kids to share Christmas with. That's all I just wanted to say how much I HEART CHRISTMAS : )