Boo...Hiss

So I am supposed to be heading out in a little bit for New Years Eve and as usual I am having second thoughts about going anywhere. And this is the reason: Whenever I ask someone where they met the person they are with I get a variety of answers "theme park, bar, museum, school, work" and so on. I have never met anyone I was interested in at any of the above listed places. I used to think it was my fault for not going out enough and not putting myself out there, but lately I have been going out a lot, and have met a few people. However, it seems like when I look around everyone is coupled up already. I guess I shouldn't be so negative and try harder to be more open? Who knows. I'm still contemplating "officially" signing up for and online dating site. I'm not sure. Its hard for me to think of myself in terms of a guy being interested in me, and usually the guys that are I am not attracted to and then I feel bad about that. Yeah...I need therapy. I was watching the movie "easy A", and in the movie the main characters parents were joking about grounding her and they said, "no boys" and she just laughed it off and said "well I think my complete lack of appeal sort of shot that horse in the face" that's kind of how I feel about my self, I don't see how I am appealing to the opposite sex. I reiterate the therapy point.

On to my goals for 2011( because I actually did stick to last years)

Continue to eat healthy and get in shape.
Be more honest about what I want and stop trying to please other people
SAVE MONEY
Get my butt back to school

I'm Starting to Think

....that I am never going to be able to get my life together. I work at a job that has nothing to do with what I ultimately want to do with my career and also causes me no end of stress. I still live with my parents who treat me like I am 15 instead of 25. And I still can't find a guy who is interested in me. Don't get me wrong I am grateful I have a job and am not unemployed, and that I have a family that cares and friends that are there for me, but sometime I just want to feel like I am doing something right with my life, not just existing.

Merry Christmas

I love Christmas....love it, love it, love it. I like the lights, the decorations, the music. Sure some people will say its a materialistic, commercial holiday but I think its what you make of it. I actually like buying gifts for people, thoughtful awesome gifts. Its nice getting gifts too, but I don't care about that so much anymore. I just bought my first ornaments this year, hopefully I will have my own tree to put them on next year(right now they are on my moms tree). I can't wait until I have my own kids to share Christmas with. That's all I just wanted to say how much I HEART CHRISTMAS : )